Saturday, February 19, 2011

Enumerating the Real Priorities

Two people in my midst brought up their “bucket lists” last week. Bucket lists are personal lists of things to do before you’ve got the Grim Reaper on your ass, and I’m sick of hearing about them. That’s the line of thinking that spawned the compilation of my “Fuck-It List.”

Unfortunately, I’m not the first rhyming pisser to have come up with this term. Go ahead and Google “Fuck-It List” to catch a glimpse of just how many have beaten me to the creditably caustic punch. Since beating them is no longer an option, I’m honored to join them - what follows is a non-exhaustive list of things I will NOT do before I die:

1. Stop eating meat
2. Have a blessed day
3. Wear high heels
4. Set foot in the state of Arizona without a bulletproof vest, a bulletproof hat, and a licensed civil rights attorney at my side
5. Cut back on the cursing
6. Remain neutral
7. Snorkel
8. Suck up to management
9. Pay someone to clean my house or do my laundry
10. Quit while I’m ahead

1 comment:

  1. Oh oh...I guess I mentioned wanting to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge in a "bucket list" sort of way. But I'm with you 100% on items 1-7 in your "fuck-it list". Can't make any promises about 8-10!