Monday, June 10, 2013

That Reflect Reflex

I asked someone what she would have done differently if she had the luxury of going back in time to edit the hours of her life, thus far. “Nothing,” she instantly answered, without blinking.

Uh, I can come up with plenty of things she should have done differently, just off the top of my head and in the years I’ve known her. And I’m a blinker.

One September or October, someone else, who had just observed Yom Kippur, unsolicitedly told me that she had absolutely nothing to atone for. So what’d she do all day?

I’m slightly freaked out by the earthlings who self-identify as angels, who don’t even regret not having any regrets. Flawless superhumans who frequently have flimsy memories and dole out the most avoidable damage.

If I could month-by-month edit my own personal history, I’d change about half of what I did and didn’t do between the ages of 9 and 21. For starters, I would have taken the piano lessons much more seriously, I would have spent more time looking where I was going so I wouldn’t have fallen down on concrete as much, 
I would have accepted more invitations. After knocking out that time block, I’d revise about a fourth of the decisions I’ve made and reactions I’ve released in the years since then. Notice how there’s been less to amend as the time blocks have trickled by. Perfection brokers miss out on the taste of progress.  

4 comments:

  1. Gosh, there about a million and one things AT LEAST that I would have changed about my life had I been given the chance! Anyway, we believe that humans can't see Angels (not humanly possible) never-mind take on their characteristics or claim to be them :P

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  2. This posting really hit home with me. There are so many things I would have changed that I can hardly count them. I really think that is true of most people. And, to make it worse, I wish I had been born a little later than I was--in time to "grow up" with the computer, as my daughter did. Young people have an intuitive relationship to the computer, whereas I struggle with every little step on the learning curve. I am reminded of something James A. Michener, the great novelist said. Michener wrote more than forty titles, usually books that were lengthy sagas: "Tales of the South Pacific," "Hawaii," "Chesapeake," etc. He used a manual typewriter and, later, an electric. Finally, the time came for a word processor. He said if only he had had the availability of a word processor during his entire life as a writer, he could have produced five times the output he achieved. Think what he could have achieved with a full-scale computer! I don't think I could have equaled his output, ever, but his point is well taken.

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  3. The hard part about reflecting on the past is to not to get stuck there. Then again, a life unexamined is a life lived as far as I am concerned. It's a fine line to walk. There's lots I'd change about my past -- decisions I'd change, or reactions I'd spare myself--but I also realize that it's made me who I am and the older I get the more I like who that is.

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  4. "I’m slightly freaked out by the earthlings who self-identify as angels..."

    Ugh. THIS. Big time.

    I mean, come ON. People have nothing to atone for? Bahahahah. Schyeah, right. Either they're completely clueless and not self-aware or they're just...obnoxious pricks?

    Heh heh.

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