Monday, April 7, 2014

Eight Reasons Why I’m Upset That Winter Is Over

*Now I have to comb my hair before greeting the general public, instead of pulling on a hat or hood as a cover-up. It’s oppressive.

*Icier coffee is pricier coffee.
*There’s an increased likelihood of getting jumped – the warmer the weather, the greater the odds of violent crime. I know I read that somewhere, sometime.
*I don’t want to sweat.
*In about 6 weeks from now, when I first begin to complain about the sweating, an acquaintance will be all, “Well, it is summer.” Yes, I know, but when this person spent the better part of November, December, January, February, and March complaining about the shivering (and less than a foot of snow), I companionably stayed quiet.
*Back to hats. The fedora has made a comeback. Tastemakers seem more brazen about throwing one on when the temperature soars above 35 degrees.
*The chirping about summer homes and time-shares in two specific locations – the Hamptons and Cape Cod - has already begun (à la, “You’re on the Cape, right?” “No, silly, you’re thinking of my ex-in-laws and my grandfather’s new girlfriend. We’re in Sag Harbor. We are Sag Harbor”).
*My ankle boots (the “aggressive girl’s” footwear of choice, researchers report) have a way of effortlessly optimizing my posture, and I report that our posture says more about us than our shoes. As much as I adore flip-flops, I would continue wearing these boots through the spring and summer if I didn’t worry about this being a gateway to hitting the streets and beaches in fedoras.

4 comments:

  1. I hear you, Roving Retorter, on the obnoxiousness of hearing about summer plans in the Hamptons and Cape Cod. (Actually, I love Cape Cod--if only I had a little cottage there on the beach, I would be so happy, and then I, too, would be talking about my summer plans in paradise.) As it is, as a freelance writer and editor, I'm thinking more about what kind of paying project I can possibly pull in for the summer, while I remain here in NYC in front of my computer, with an electric fan (not air conditioning) to keep me company.

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  2. Thanks for the insight! I am looking forward to your next post and the enlightment that I will gain from it!

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  3. I hear you. Just three nights ago, it was 30 degrees Centigrade here (about 82F) around midnight. But then again, this is the Middle East.

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