Monday, May 19, 2014

Desperately Seeking a Summons

You know your Monday morning isn’t everything it could be when you start firing off texts like:

Can you volunteer yourself for jury duty? Or, like the Met Gala, do you have to be asked? Asking for a friend.
Today I remembered the charmed week I served as an alternate juror in a civil case that was like a Days of Our Lives marathon, with frumpier clothing and Staten Island accents. All it needed was someone to periodically circulate trays of chardonnay and crabcakes around our VIP section.

I like catching up on magazines while waiting for them to call my name; messing with counsel during the voir dire questioning; marching in the bailiff-led procession from the jury room into the courtroom; and traveling that far downtown on a weekday, where there’s a different culture without any shock. I miss two of my co-jurors and wish we’d exchanged email addresses. As good-natured as they were, both despised the experience and I pretended to find it intolerable as well. I don’t love many things most people love – an afternoon at the movies, constant sunshine, Paris. But give me a day filled with housework, a jar of gefilte fish, or an aisle seat in a jury box, if you want to see me happier than a contestant on The Price Is Right.
Recent cravings I’ve had that won’t go away – fresh kiwi, bangers and mash, chamomile tea, Trader Joe’s olive oil popcorn, and now this, a court date. Come right to mama you little white card.  

3 comments:

  1. Oh, Roving Retorter, you are really going against the tide here. I see jury duty as a necessity in terms of good citizenship, and I feel philosophical when I am called. In all--compared to most people--I'm pretty good with jury duty. But to actually WANT the little cards to come floating to you through the mail . . . now that's not the usual response! I will say that the jury duty system has gotten more reasonable over time. Decades ago, if they found you were responsive once or twice, they dug in and sent you a LOT of cards. Now they exercise more self control, and check in with you only every few years.

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  2. Not my scene! So the more people there are like you the less I have to worry about being called up.

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  3. I enjoyed my time on jury duty a few years back, I got paid to miss a week of work and was in a short but interesting case. It was a frivolous law suit from a guy trying to suck money from the system and I helped convince the rest of the jurors not to give him a dime

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