Can you volunteer yourself for jury duty? Or, like the Met Gala, do you have to be asked? Asking for a friend.Today I remembered the charmed week I served as an alternate juror in a civil case that was like a Days of Our Lives marathon, with frumpier clothing and Staten Island accents. All it needed was someone to periodically circulate trays of chardonnay and crabcakes around our VIP section.
I like catching up on magazines while waiting for them to call my name; messing with counsel during the voir dire questioning; marching in the bailiff-led procession from the jury room into the courtroom; and traveling that far downtown on a weekday, where there’s a different culture without any shock. I miss two of my co-jurors and wish we’d exchanged email addresses. As good-natured as they were, both despised the experience and I pretended to find it intolerable as well. I don’t love many things most people love – an afternoon at the movies, constant sunshine, Paris. But give me a day filled with housework, a jar of gefilte fish, or an aisle seat in a jury box, if you want to see me happier than a contestant on The Price Is Right.Recent cravings I’ve had that won’t go away – fresh kiwi, bangers and mash, chamomile tea, Trader Joe’s olive oil popcorn, and now this, a court date. Come right to mama you little white card.