Monday, May 5, 2014

Here’s Your Money Back – Now Stop Talking to Me

What’s better than getting out of a bad relationship? Getting out of two, of course!

This year, I’ve broken free from Sallie Mae and American Education Services (AES) - student loan companies that had been in my life for way too long, preventing me from doing joyful things like going to a destination wedding in Punta Cana and making me consider such acts as sliding my monogrammed high school class ring over the counter of a pawn shop.

I’m wearing that ring today, for the first time since I was 16 or 17 years old. It looks good.

Miss Sallie Mae has sent an email, congratulating me for kicking her to the curb. She wants to know how I did it. She wants me to share my “tips for success.” As you can imagine, there are submission rules to follow, such as agreeing not to get paid for telling your story and accepting that the submission will become the property of Sallie Mae, Inc. She’d also love it if a picture accompanied the tale.

One tip for success: when shady types ask for details about any aspect of your personal affairs, answer as honestly and as vaguely as possible.

Sallie, girl - here’s what it took to pay you (and your wicked stepbrother, AES) off. A can-do attitude and the kind of frugality that would make a monk moan – two of the most valuable forms of inherited wealth I have. And now for a photo, depicting how I feel about our goodbye:

                         Photo source:


  1. Congratulations!! I am counting down the months till when Sallie Mae is out of my life forever (next May), and I know how it feels to have to miss out on experiences, but that won't be forever. Job well done!

  2. My daughter's undergrad debt is down to about $8000 at this point. She's finishing up a two-year Master's, half of which a school is paying, and half of which she has been squeezing out as she goes. Now she's talking about a Ph.D. (She may or may not do that.) It's going to be a while before she dances the dance of joy you have put into this posting -- and I do love that dance!

  3. Congratulations! I'm paying off the student loans for my wife and kids so I'll most probably never retire. It is worth it to me to see them get a good start. Maybe when I'm old and feeble they will remember the sacrifices that the wife and I made over the years. Maybe I'll go get a cold beer instead1