I’m not like that. I let all mis-texters, such as the following person who texted my number from her gmail account, know they’re headed down the wrong path.
Gmailer: Hey Brew! My phone isn’t working but I wanted to text to make sure u can still do my hair tomorrow.
Me: You got it! What do you have in mind this time around?
Gmailer: I know I want a side part!
Me: Now why is that?
Gmailer: I just like it better.
Me: But why though? Does it change who you are?
Gmailer: Are u texting the right person? Lol
Me: I’m just thinking. Have you ever considered letting your hair grow and do its thing naturally?
Gmailer: Yea I will after this one. Over the winter probably late November until spring I’ll give it a break.
Me: Glad to hear it, but why not now? What makes “this one” so different? Still just thinking about the way things are for us. For us women.
Gmailer: Girl y are u getting so deep?! Lol. I have homecoming and stuff so I just wanted a fab weave for that. Last year I went weaveless in the winter that’s when I normally give my hair a break.
Me: Oh yes I am getting deep. Who says you shouldn’t work the look you were born with? Own it? Love it? Is it any coincidence that weave rhymes with leave?
Gmailer: R u ok??? This doesn’t seem like you. Are you joking? I would call u but my phone is broken.
Me: I’m not joking at all. What happened to your phone?
Gmailer: Oh ok. I’m not sure where this is coming from but if it bothers you no worries, I don’t have to get it done. I dropped my phone in water :(
Me: It’s coming from my heart and soul. Which is all that matters. And consolations: the phone-in-water thing really is a bitch.
[It went on, but not forever. The moment the mis-texter slips into silence, my work there is done.]